The paradox of absence.
The Symmetry of Absences: Exploring the Paradox of Absence and Pain
In the vast and introspective field of psychology, where the twists of the mind and heart often intertwine in a complex dance, we find a fascinating duality: absence and the pain of absence. As contrasting as they are inevitable, these two states lead us to deep reflections, revealing hidden truths and offering us paths to maturity and self-understanding.
The Beauty of Absence
Let us begin our journey by observing the stillness of absence .
In absence, we find the opportunity for creation and renewal. Consider, for example, the end of a love relationship. Initially, the absence of the beloved seems an unbearable void. However, in the space freed by shared memories and moments, we find room to discover new passions, pursue dormant projects, and above all, rediscover our own identity. Absence provides the necessary pause in the symphony of life, in which we can recalibrate our values and priorities, allowing new harmonies to rise.
Those solitary mornings, which seem endless, are truly embraces from the universe, inviting us to listen to the whispers of our deepest desires and to embrace the echoes of our thoughts. Learning to enjoy the "empty" is an act of courage. For in these intervals resides the creative force that not only helps us endure difficult days but also empowers us to sculpt new masterpieces in our destiny.
The Pain of Absence
Yet, alongside this solace, dwells the pain of absence. Of acute nature, this pain presents itself as a loyal companion of our existence. When a loved one departs, or a dream is abruptly interrupted, the pain of absence strikes us with an overwhelming force. But, in this silent pain, we can find an unsuspected pathway to strength.
Thomas Edison, after failing numerous times in his inventions, said that each mistake only revealed another path not to be followed. So it is with the pain of absence: each tear or unfathomable night reveals a new facet of our internal resilience and determination. The pain challenges our preconceptions of safety and acceptance, casting us into the wilderness of self-exploration.
By immersing ourselves in vulnerability, we rediscover the beauty of being human. One of the most powerful examples is found in parenthood, when a mother or father deeply feels the empty nest by the departure of a grown child. Instead of sinking into sadness, some find ways to reconnect with themselves or strengthen bonds with others, turning what was loss into a possibility for renewal.
Lessons from Dualities
How, then, can we embrace both the beautiful absences and their pains? The key lies in active acceptance and conscious presence. Firstly, we must acknowledge that absence is a constant in life; it is temporal and often necessary for our growth.
We train ourselves to see absence as the space between the notes of a melody, essential for the music to sound complete. And we do not only look at what we lack; we also celebrate what remains, strengthening our roots to face the storms.
Creating daily rituals of gratitude can be a powerful way to channel the energy generated by pain and transform it into personal growth. When we miss someone or something, we find solace in the legacies they left us: a letter, a teaching, a memory, and with them, we build symbolic ties that transcend time.
When faced with painful absence, remembering that an empty space in our life can, ironically, be a canvas for creativity as much as a longing or loss, is a practice of authentic self-love.
Stories of Overcoming
Allow me to tell the story of Maria, a woman who learned to manage her own perception of absence. After losing her dream job, Maria found herself at an abyss. But it was through that "forced unemployment" that she dedicated herself to writing, a talent she had never dared to nurture before. From the void left by employment, she flourished as an acclaimed author, touching hearts with her honesty.
We also have the example of Carlos, who after losing a great love, decided to dedicate his time to volunteering. He chose to use the pain as fuel to do good, becoming a light in the lives of many who sought support. His gratitude for being able to transform suffering into something positive touched many around him and brought back hope.
Conclusion
The paradox of absence and the pain of absence does not seek to exhaust our energies but rather challenge us to find our most sublime potential. By forgiving ourselves for feeling these inevitable voids, we allow ourselves to dance with shadows and light, subtly enjoying this duality.
On this path, while writing our own stories, we are always the hero directing our narrative. And through understanding and accepting absence and pain, a renewed love for our human vulnerability emerges: the most powerful fuel for a full rebirth. May we, thus, embrace the power of these states and gracefully manage life in the face of inevitable voids.
By: Patrick Vieira
